The impact of the death of Michael Jackson was felt around the world. People have reacted with shock, tears and dancing in the streets. While allusions to the dark side of Michael's life were put on the back burner during the time of mourning, the tabloids are now full of speculation and allegations that range from drug addiction to murder. This has also been the case with Steve McNair, a former National Football League most valuable player. Although shot by his mistress while he lay asleep on the couch, the quarterback has been praised as a hero and family man.

Though we like to remember the accomplishments of a person's public life, it is often the drama of their private lives, the exploits of the “Other Man” in the mirror, that brings us down and can ultimately kill us. The Other Man in the mirror is the version of ourselves no one wants to talk about. He is bent on self-destruction and is determined to discredit the man that the public loves.

I will venture to say that while the public Michael Jackson was entertaining us, the Other Man in the mirror was torturing him.

We thought he was so beautiful but the Other Man convinced him he was ugly. Michael gave us so much joy, but the Other Man beat him up inside everyday. Though he generated enough revenue to support a small country, the Other Man tried to bankrupt him. While we watched Michael dance, sing and push creativity past its limits, I wonder if it was the false promises and threats of the Other Man that drove him into the ground. The Other Man isolated Jackson from the people who really loved and wanted to save him. He surrounded Michael with those who catered to the desires of his flaws and ultimately killed him.

I doubt that all of the years of hard work, dancing and performing ever gave Michael what he was really looking for.

I have a feeling that we, the public, got more out of Michael's life than he did.

Some people would say that Michael's fame and riches are what ruined him. But in reality, money doesn't ruin people; it just gives them the option of becoming more of who they really are. Michael's fame and power simply gave the Other Man access to the resources to supply his pain with whatever it begged for.

We all have our own version of the Other Man in the mirror, and he has the same agenda as Michael's. He seeks to self-justify, kill and destroy you. When you wish to do good, he talks you out of it. When someone tries to help you, he accuses them of being your enemy.

His handiwork in our lives is evident. Fast forward your secret behaviors, and if it destroys a part of your entire life; chances are it's him. Fast forward your relationships, and see where you end up.

Your funeral is coming, and let me tell you, the Other Man is planning it. Your friends and family will speak well of you, but unless you deal with him now and die on your terms, the Other Man will be claiming “mission accomplished.”
If you don't deal with him now, you may be his next victim.

Who is your Other Man?

You can also view this blog from the Union Tribune and from the Christian Examiner

I love that airline commercial when the ‘girlfriend’ is creeping around in her boyfriend’s medicine cabinet and it comes crashing down into the sink. Then you hear those famous words, "Wanna Get Away?"

We laugh because we have all been in those situations when we feel like we want to run and hide.

That’s probably why so many of us are left scratching our heads when we see public figures drag out their personal drama in the media. As a pastor, I’m baffled why people, supposedly committed to their families, risk losing their families to please the desires of the ‘camera.’

Jon and Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, seem like ordinary people. We television viewers have practically become part of their family, and have been watching their 8 children grow up.

Their marital problems though, while a good gossip TV, is none of our business. Just because the public hungers to turn someone’s tragedy into the latest gossip doesn’t mean they need to serve their family’s anguish on a platter to the networks.

When your personal life is falling apart, your professional life needs to take a back seat. Private counseling needs to replace reality television and news conferences.

It was fun for a while – watching Jon and Kate’s cute kids grow up and do the wild things all kids do, but the reality now is that these children have a huge challenge to overcome through no fault of their own. So why has the basic instinct to protect their kids been ‘kicked to the curb?’

In the same way, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina is telling the world his private business, which will only further destroy the trust of his wife and four sons. Meanwhile, he is claiming to do everything he can to restore the trust of the people of South Carolina.

There is something backwards about this.When your family is falling apart, you need to put a full court press on fixing it -- in private.

Any attempt to fix these problems with media involvement is like throwing gas on a fire. This principal is true in all of our lives. The more people you allow to turn your personal problems into their gossip, the higher chance your problems will only get worse. Imagine how difficult it would be to solve a disagreement with a friend if you were sharing all of the details with everyone you met.

It seems at times that a higher value is placed on the temporary pleasure of fame and power than the health of the family.

Having seen the bright lights of the NFL come and go, I can say it is not worth it. The day will come when celebrity and fame will be gone, but the affects of a broken family can linger even beyond the grave. Keep in mind, there are twelve children taking notes on their parents' behavior.

Jenny Sanford, Governor Sanford's wife, seems to be the only one who values the power of privacy. To date, she has chosen to focus on fixing her family behind the scenes-- away from the distractions of the media. You go girl!

I have counseled many couples who have fought these battles and none of them would have been able to overcome their challenges with the whole world watching.

It’s time to get away.

I love that airline commercial when the ‘girlfriend’ is creeping around in her boyfriend’s medicine cabinet and it comes crashing down into the sink. Then you hear those famous words, "Wanna Get Away?"

We laugh because we have all been in those situations when we feel like we want to run and hide.

That’s probably why so many of us are left scratching our heads when we see public figures drag out their personal drama in the media. As a pastor, I’m baffled why people, supposedly committed to their families, risk losing their families to please the desires of the ‘camera.’

Jon and Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, seem like ordinary people. We television viewers have practically become part of their family, and have been watching their 8 children grow up.

Their marital problems though, while a good gossip TV, is none of our business. Just because the public hungers to turn someone’s tragedy into the latest gossip doesn’t mean they need to serve their family’s anguish on a platter to the networks.

When your personal life is falling apart, your professional life needs to take a back seat. Private counseling needs to replace reality television and news conferences.

It was fun for a while – watching Jon and Kate’s cute kids grow up and do the wild things all kids do, but the reality now is that these children have a huge challenge to overcome through no fault of their own. So why has the basic instinct to protect their kids been ‘kicked to the curb?’

In the same way, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina is telling the world his private business, which will only further destroy the trust of his wife and four sons. Meanwhile, he is claiming to do everything he can to restore the trust of the people of South Carolina.

There is something backwards about this.When your family is falling apart, you need to put a full court press on fixing it -- in private.

Any attempt to fix these problems with media involvement is like throwing gas on a fire. This principal is true in all of our lives. The more people you allow to turn your personal problems into their gossip, the higher chance your problems will only get worse. Imagine how difficult it would be to solve a disagreement with a friend if you were sharing all of the details with everyone you met.

It seems at times that a higher value is placed on the temporary pleasure of fame and power than the health of the family.

Having seen the bright lights of the NFL come and go, I can say it is not worth it. The day will come when celebrity and fame will be gone, but the affects of a broken family can linger even beyond the grave. Keep in mind, there are twelve children taking notes on their parents' behavior.

Jenny Sanford, Governor Sanford's wife, seems to be the only one who values the power of privacy. To date, she has chosen to focus on fixing her family behind the scenes-- away from the distractions of the media. You go girl!

I have counseled many couples who have fought these battles and none of them would have been able to overcome their challenges with the whole world watching.

It’s time to get away.